It Takes A Village To Raise A Child

 

Submitted by Jodie Moss
Everett School
Lake Forest, Illinois
 

  According to an old proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I think that in the case of neglectful parenting, this proverb can be extremely uplifting and help provide us with a sense of hope. I believe whole-heartedly that a child can rise above a poor parental role model if he or she is provided with an alternative positive role model to observe and emulate. That is why teachers and members of a community have an overwhelming, yet important job to do. These individuals need to provide positive role models for the children in their schools and in their communities.    

  As a part of the maturation process, children develop their early personalities by imitating the adults around them. Even though a child with a poor role model may imitate and experiment with some of the role model’s negative or poor habits, all hope is not lost. Eventually that child will receive consequence for those undesirable characteristics and be persuaded to change them. These consequences can be provided by various members of the child’s community such as babysitters, relatives, teachers, friends at school etc. Some consequences might be time outs from the babysitter, the refusal to take them in public, few or no play dates and detentions or reprimands from the teacher.    

According to Maslow’s hierarchy, people have an overwhelming need to be loved and accepted in their surroundings. If that love and acceptance is not provided within the family unit, students will search it out in other ways. Hopefully, instead of choosing gangs to join, children will seek acceptance at school by teachers and peers. Teachers can help provide whole group behavioral incentives for students in their classroom. For example, if a classroom is behaving extremely well, maybe the teacher gives them a point. No child wishes to be excluded all the time or to be reprimanded constantly, so if they are given ways to demonstrate good behavior as part of a whole group effort, they will likely participate. Often times, the peer pressure and desire to conform to the rules and standards of classroom/community behavior can help mold students into better people. I have also found that even though a teacher correcting a student is important and helpful, peer acceptance and judgment can prove to be even more valuable when trying to help children demonstrate appropriate behavior.          

In addition to providing good role models ourselves, school districts should also offer parents some “parent training courses.” In my school district, we refer to the courses as “Parent University.” Some courses that might be offered are: setting limits and expectations, being a good role model, how to help with homework, and positive discipline. Even though some parents might be too disinterested or embarrassed to come, there is a chance that some of the “poor role model parents” may still attend. Another option, is that the school districts make attendance to one or more of the workshops mandatory. Possibly, the district’s truancy officer can help reinforce this policy. Maybe there could be a section on the pupil report card that is designed for a “parental involvement/parental participation” grade. In my school district, there is a very large turnout for these parent classes which are offered at various times. They are offered in the afternoons, evenings and sometimes even over the summer.

Some school districts even have senior citizens come to their classrooms, during reading instruction, and help with oral reading, story writing and projects. These senior citizens are another way that schools can provide positive role models for children. However, the best way to help students learn and model good behaviors, is to give them an opportunity to practice them. Many school districts across the United States utilize a program entitled the “Best Program.” This program gives each school one character trait per month to learn about and practice. Each month, our school social worker visits each classroom to do an introductory activity that follows the month’s specific theme. For example, one month it may be cooperation. The social worker will involve the students in an activity that requires cooperation. Afterwards, the social worker may discuss how cooperation helped to make the activity successful. The students will also list reasons why cooperation is important and ways that they have been cooperative in the past. For the remainder of the month, the teacher will reinforce this theme throughout the classroom and students will be rewarded for actually being cooperative with peers. A newsletter is sent home each month as well, so that parents will be aware of the classroom theme. I think that this program works because it incorporates PRACTICING and utilizing the skills, as compared to many programs that just preach about these important character traits.

In the article entitled “Why Children Turn Violent,” excessive television watching was mentioned. Not only are today’s children watching too much television each day, but there is often very little supervision as to what the children are watching. Since many parents are very busy or unaware of the programs that their children watch, I believe that the cable and television companies need to take some responsibility for this problem. One idea would be to have television and cable companies wait until 8:00 P.M. to show violent movies and shows. Of course, this won’t eliminate the problem, but it might help assist parents that work late and cannot supervise their children’s television watching routine.                 

In conclusion, there are several ways to provide positive role models to children who are lacking appropriate role models at home. Teachers need to be aware that children are constantly watching our every move and that we need to make sure that we model good manners and appropriate social interaction. In addition, school districts can also play a large role in personality development. Schools can offer courses to parents and invite other appropriate role models into the classrooms for added support. Schools can also institute character education programs and expect that positive character traits are practiced and rewarded. Outside organizations can also help by lending a helping hand in their programming schedules.  If we all work together as a community, we can help raise our children to be healthy, happy and productive members of society.

Responses to the Required Reading Questions

Q1—Comment on the 6-year-old with a telescope and his interest in abstract ideas.  How unusual was he?  Have you encountered students with similar focus and reasoning abilities?  Discuss.

1. I think that this type of student is less common that most teachers would hope. Although, by parents and teachers discussing moral values and current events with their children, even a six year old can carry on this type of intellectual discussion. Often times, parents shelter their children from what’s going on in the world, or do not even bother to discuss important things with them. The little boy in this article proves that children are listening to us. We might as well fill their minds with important, thought provoking ideas, rather than plop them in front of a television for stimulation. I have had the pleasure of having a few of these students myself here in Lake Forest. These are the students who make connections with the things that you are discussing in class to things that are happening in the news and in their home lives.

Q2—Were you surprised to read that young children may be “ethically introspective citizens”?  Discuss.

2. No, this does not surprise me. Having worked in education for the past eight years with all types of children, I have encountered many types of students. Some that reiterate what you say word for word, and others that really ponder what is said in the classroom. I think that if we place more emphasis on process rather than product in today’s classrooms, we will be able to see more children utilizing this ethically introspective ability. This also reminds us that we should set high expectations for our students and teach them that the “why” is just as important as the correct answers.

Q3—Do you agree that morality can be taught in all kinds of classes.  Give examples from experience.

3. I agree that morality can be discussed in all schools and in most subject areas. Morality can be taught, modeled and practiced, but it is often hard to judge how successful the teaching has been. Students can be taught the skills in isolation, within the confounds of a character education program, or it can be incorporated into most subject areas. While discussing a language arts story, the teacher can ask questions such as, “Did Johnny do the right thing here? What would you have done?” Math problems can also be created to be morally subjective. After doing the basic computation, students can be asked questions about the “morality” of what the question implied. Subject areas like economics, and social studies are also great areas to bring a morality discussion into.

Q4—What was meant by the phrase encountered in you required reading:  “We are all moral witnesses”?  Describe an instance in the classroom when you were a good moral witness

4. I think that the term “moral witness” refers to our ability to look at or listen to a situation and be able to contemplate right from wrong and the consequences that a situation may cause. I think that as a teacher, I am constantly being asked to be a moral witness to student problems. I try to listen to both sides of the “dilemma” and help the students problem solve the best solutions. Many students come to see me when they are having difficulties with friendships. Maybe a new person moves into the classroom and the old friend is having difficulty sharing her friend with the “new” friend. I try to have them discuss how the “new” friend must feel, being in a new environment, and how nervous the “old” friend might be to lose a good friend. By discussing how other people feel, students are more able to make appropriate choices.

Q5—Define courage.  Tell of a youngster who has had the courage to stand up for his/her beliefs/values.

5. Courage is the ability to believe in the things that you believe to be true, despite the fact it might not be the “popular” thing to believe in. Courage is also the ability to stand up for your beliefs, despite what they may cost you. At the young age that I work with, courage may be displayed by a person sticking up for a child that is being persecuted on the playground. We have a  student at school with multiple disabilities. She is constantly being teased at lunch and on the playground.  Another girl at her table told the children to leave her alone and then reported it to the lunchroom supervisor.

Q6—Comment on the discussion on Courage that took place during a 4th grade history lesson, as outlined in the required reading.  Share an experience where your class spontaneously engaged in a moral analysis.

6. I really enjoyed reading about the discussion about the pilgrims and whether or not they demonstrated bravery. It is interesting to ponder whether they made the journey because they had no other options or because they were trying to change the course of history. I did have a class experience which demonstrated this type of spontaneously moral analysis. I was reading a story to a group of third graders which discussed how a man stole some medicine for his dying wife. We discussed whether or not that stealing was forgivable in this instance and which moral consequences would be more serious. Students were really torn, as you could see them processing the story and its moral ramifications. They have been taught that stealing is never right. But what if it is a life or death situation? Most students decided that the woman’s life was more valuable than the punishment that the man would face for stealing the medicine.

Q7—How is a good person described at the end of the required reading involving A Bronx Tale?

7. According to the Bronx Tale, a good person is one who weighs his or her choices and the consequences of both, prior to making a major decision. A good person recognizes conflict within him/herself and may not be perfect. However, a good person recognizes his or confused emotions and temptations.

Q8—What should a teacher do when she/he sees a student trying to get another student in trouble or somehow disrupting the class?

8. When a child disrupts a class, something needs to be done right away. First of all, one disruption can ruin a lesson or activity for the whole class. Depending on what the predetermined procedures and consequences are for each classroom, the first “warning” needs to be given when the first inappropriate behavior occurs.  For example, in one of our first grade classrooms, the students are allowed two strikes. The first time they are being disruptive they hear, “That’s one, Michael.” The second time it occurs, he hears, “ That’s two, Michael.” By the time Michael hears, “That’s three,” he has a consequence. In his classroom, the consequence is a phone call home. If the behavior continues after that point, a trip to the principal is in order. However, only a teacher can really judge each situation, being the one who knows the students the best. Depending on the student and the situation, the situation may need to be addressed more immediately and with more of a conflict resolution technique.

Q9—The Harry Singer Foundation pilot project, Dream Machine, White Hats and Problem Solvers are based on the premise that students have the capacity to act responsibly, interact with adults in the community and make mature decisions.  In light of the article by Shannon Brownlee regarding the development of the teen brain, do you think the Foundation may be giving teens too much credit?

9. I think that the Foundation should continue to have high expectations for its teen population. Teens are able to make good decisions and learn how to use good judgment, even if it is not 100% of the time. Since the brain is still in a developmental state, there will be fluctuations and inconsistencies, but overall, I believe that in order for teens to become responsible we need to set reasonable, but high expectations for them. In addition, teens and children need to be exposed to correct and admirable characteristics if we expect them to emulate and internalize these characteristics into their lives.

Q10—If you think your students are capable, will you engage a group in one of our pilot projects?  If not, why

10. I would be happy to engage in a pilot project if you have a program that you would like to see piloted with a resource/reading specialist teacher. I see children in small groups in first, third and fourth grade

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