IT’S
ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE
Submitted
by Patty Chiles
Douglas
Alternative School
Springfield, Illinois
TEACHING EXPERIENCE
I
have taught at all grade levels of elementary education. The last seven years I
have been employed teaching junior high students in an alternative education
setting. In past years I have taught every subject area that is required of
junior high students in my district. Next school year I will be teaching with a
team and I will specialize in teaching science and literature.
The sign outside our building reads - Douglas School - A Positive Alternative. We are an alternative school for students who for various reasons have been temporarily removed from the regular school setting. The unique atmosphere at Douglas has given me the opportunity to teach everything from math and literature to P.E. and aggression replacement training.
From the moment I could utter my first words I was
destined to become Johnny Carson’s replacement or a teacher. Hollywood did not
come searching the cornfields of Illinois for me so I proceeded down the path of
becoming an educator.
My entire life has centered around children. I was
the neighborhood child who liked to organize the games, see that everyone got a
turn, and help others play fairly. I was at the height of my glory teaching
younger relatives how to make a kazoo out of wax paper and a comb, or
captivating them with a ghost story. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I
had found my niche - teaching!
I attended college for two years then left school
to return home during the illness of one of my sisters. Life’s path did not
take me back to school, but to marriage. I had two children of my own. The years
that my sons were young I found myself involved in Little League, Cub Scouts,
P.T.A., if children were present I was drawn there.
After the birth of my second child I made the
decision to return to college and complete my teaching degree. It had seemed so
foolish to quit college when I did, but what a blessing it had turned out to be.
My return to college was so different, so rewarding. I came to my studies with a
maturity I did not have at nineteen. I had a thirst to learn how to become the
best teacher I could possibly be. My life goal was so much clearer now, my
desire so much stronger.
At the same time my youngest child was ready to
enter school I was ready to enter the field of teaching. I spent a few years
substitute teaching, waiting for the opportunity to be hired full-time with a
class of my own. What a learning experience those years were!
My first full-time job finally came. I was hired on
a one year only contract at one of the more affluent schools in the district. It
was the class every teacher would die for. I had a room full of bright,
creative, third-graders! My students had parents who were caring, supportive,
and involved. What a delight!
The following year my position was taken by someone with much more seniority. In order to stay with the district I would have to take another position that was offered to me. What a difference! I was required to interview for a position at an alternative education school. I would be required to teach junior high students.
My anxiety was at an all time high. What in the
world would I do with junior high students? All of my experience had been with
younger children. What if the rumors about the "bad school" were true?
I reassured myself that I would make the best of whatever came my way.
I have been at the alternative school for seven
years now. I will be there again when school starts in the fall. People tease me
and say, "What’s a nice gal like you doing in a place like this?" A
place like this is where the nice gals and guys need to be!
My college degrees taught me so much, but my years
at the alternative school have taught me so much more. As I read the question
posed by The Harry Singer Foundation I knew exactly what I wanted to answer.
What do we do when adults refuse to be good role
models for their children? A few years ago I believe my approach would have
focused on changing the adults. My years working with troubled families has
given me a different perspective.
I can do very little to change the behavior of my
student’s parents. I can do very little to change the environment in which
they live. What I can do is help students learn to take charge of their
attitude.
All through one’s life there will be bad role
models, poor examples, depressing situations that you will have no control over.
What you can control is your reaction to those people or events. You can either
be the pessimist or the optimist. The choice you make will affect your
well-being your entire life.
The rest of your life you can resent the fact that
you grew up in poverty or you can make the choice to see how it made you
stronger. You can be unhappy the rest of your life because you did not have the
"perfect family" or you can realize that nobody had the "perfect
family" and be proud of yourself for working to overcome the hardships
along the way.
The stories of most of my students could bring tears to your eyes. I look back on my own years in junior high. Going to school with a pimple or being snubbed by a boy I liked were major life crises at that time. I can only begin to imagine what it must be like for my students who face so many REAL problems.
Over the years I have taught many children who have
had a mother, father, or sibling in prison. Some of my students have already
been in correctional settings themselves. At such a young age many of my
students already know what it feels like to have their lights, water, and phone
disconnected, or worse yet to be evicted from their home. The worst possible
scenario you could think of has probably already been experienced by one of my
students. Some of my students have lost loved ones from acts of violence. Last
summer one of my junior high students was shot to death. What a tragedy! What a
waste!
I wish I could change the whole world. I wish I
could make everyone realize that violence is not the solution to the problem. I
wish I could make poverty cease to exist, but I cannot. I cannot change the
whole world. I cannot control the actions of other adults, but there are some
things that I can control.
I can teach my students that every day is a new
start to the rest of their lives. I can remind them that I don’t control their
behavior, that they control their behavior. Others around you may make poor
choices, but you can make wise choices! You can learn from your mistakes and the
mistakes of others or you can spend a lifetime passing the blame.
Teachers can bombard you with facts and figures.
The best teachers instill a love of learning in you. It is the same with
attitude. Teachers can lecture a student all year on proper behavior. The best
teachers empower students to take charge of their own choices.
A school year goes by quickly. My students move on.
The reality is I won’t be able to be with them the rest of their lives, but I
can give them something that they can take with them for the rest of their
years. I can share with them the knowledge that we never stop learning, we never
stop making mistakes, it is never too late to change, it is never too late to
begin to make the right choices in life.
A few people who know me well have told me that
they feel sorry for the hardships I have had to face in my life. There is no
need to feel sorry for me. We all have to face some type of hardships in our
lifetime. My struggles have been a blessing. They have made my character
stronger. My struggles have made me a better listener, more empathetic to
others, more understanding. I joke that I was forty by the time I turned twenty,
but how many of us have been given that gift? I learned early what was really
important in life. I wont have to look back when I am eighty and regret I did
not spend enough time on the things in life that are truly of value. I could
wallow in self-pity and head downwards or I could focus my energy on making
tomorrow better.
I am an ordinary person. Like millions of people
around the world I am trying to make things a little better. As a native of the
Land of Lincoln I offer a quote from one of our wisest Presidents. "And in
the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your
years." - Abraham Lincoln. I have nothing grand to leave behind when I am
gone. Hopefully I will leave something behind of greater value. A kind deed, a
supportive remark, an example of the power of positive thinking. I want my years
to count. Like every educator I want to make a difference.
It is all about attitude! If you say you cannot,
then you won’t. If you believe you can, you will. There is something in life
no one can take away from you, that is your attitude. YOU can be a good role
model. YOU can make a difference. YOU can be proud of yourself. The choice is
always there, and it is YOURS! Welcome to tomorrow!
Question 1: Comment on
the 6-year-old with a telescope and his interest in abstract ideas. How
unusual was he? Have you encountered students with similar focus and
reasoning abilities? Discuss.
In the excerpt from "The Moral
Intelligence of Children" Robert Coles relates his experience of being
enlightened by the reflective thoughts of a young child. As I read, I thought
how fortunate he was to experience one of those special moments. Those moments
do not happen every day. The gift is being able to see the moment when it
occurs. Those times are the "through the eyes of a child moments" that
should make every adult take time to appreciate the contribution every age
makes.
On a typical day most young children are
consumed with thoughts. Will the weather be warm enough to play outdoors? Will
my best friend be able to play today? Are there any banana flavored popsicles
left in the freezer? But...I believe that every child has moments of deeper
thought.
We are all victims of a "hurry up
society". We rush to work or school. We hurry through reading because it is
time to start math. We are constantly glancing at clocks to be sure we are not
late for our next activity. Our evenings are often as rushed as our days. How
many times does a quick shower replace a relaxing bath before bedtime? How often
do any of us allow for time to just think...to daydream?
Children, like adults, occasionally have
those quiet moments where the opportunity arises to just think and reflect. The
triggers for deeper thought are different for each individual. Possibly it is a
story in the news, a program on people in need, concerns for family troubles,
concerns for friends, or the need to understand the why behind a
situation.
The times I have been blessed to "see
through the eyes of a child" have come at the most unexpected times. They
don’t always come during a discussion of current events. Sometimes it is when
the child who is sitting out of P.E. due to an injury has my one-on-one
attention. Sometimes it is the child who has chosen to stand next to the teacher
during recess instead of playing with the others one day.
Young children often seem to have a great
sense of what they believe to be right or wrong. The joy of really listening to
their words is that the words of a young child have not been tainted by
experience. They can still see things how they should be. Adults are subject to
criticism for being too idealistic, for being too much of a dreamer. Thank
goodness we expect children to be dreamers.
During a private moment a student may comment
on the behavior of another classmate. "You know...James seems to be mad at
the whole world. I think he needs somebody to be his friend. Everybody needs
friends." Moments like these always cause me to pause for a second in awe
of the wisdom of a child. The words are often so simple and yet so true.
I have been so busy trying to help James
choose appropriate behaviors and guilty of assuming that the other students
expect me as "the adult" to handle the situation. I made the mistake
of thinking I was the only one giving deeper thought to James’
troubles. The words of a young child once again make me see how things ought to
be.
Question 2: Were you
surprised to read that young children might be “ethically introspective
citizens”?
"A child of five would understand this.
Send someone to fetch a child of five." - Groucho Marx
I was not surprised to read that young
children may be "ethically introspective citizens". What does surprise
me is the occasional adult who does not realize the depth of spirit within each
child.
Verbal skills are developing; vocabulary is
building, life experiences await, the things that shape our ability to express
our thoughts are just beginning in a child. Lack of ability to eloquently
express ones thoughts does not mean a lack of thoughts exists.
Sometimes a child’s thoughts are expressed
with so many bits and pieces the listener loses the message. Other times the
child’s thoughts are expressed so simply that the magnitude of the statement
takes a moment to sink in.
Life’s lessons are invaluable. Good or bad
we learn from them and grow as individuals. These lessons shape our opinions,
how we react, how we express ourselves. The joy of young children is that they
have so few life experiences to hinder their thoughts. A young child will stare
in awe at the ability of the wind to move a tree. A young child can fill a day
with "why questions". Those who believe that young children are not
ethically introspective citizens have not taken the time to speak with a child.
As an educator I am always trying to help my
students become more responsible, to behave in a more "adult like"
fashion. I want my students to mature and learn to make good choices. We all
benefit from a society of responsible adults.
In the process of becoming responsible adults
I hope none of us lose the introspective inner child. May we always be in awe of
a beautiful sunset or amazed that the rivers endlessly flow. May the child
inside of all of us never quit asking why
Question 3: Do you agree
that morality can be taught in all kinds of classes? Give examples from experience.
Many people will declare that it is not the
school’s place to teach values. It is not the school’s place to teach
morality. These people believe that it is the parent’s right and
responsibility to teach values and morals at home.
I respectfully disagree with these
individuals. As an educator, it is NOT my place to encourage students to believe
in the religious doctrine that I believe to be correct. It is NOT my place to
try to shape children’s beliefs to mirror my own. I believe it is the
responsibility of every adult to teach morals.
In a perfect world every child would have
loving parents who are nurturing and kind, parents who consistently instill good
moral values. The reality is that the world is not perfect.
Even a child from a wonderful family will at
some point in his or her life encounter an adult who does not make good moral
choices. This is why it is so critical that all adults seize the opportunity to
teach morality.
In math or science the opportunity may arise
with a discussion of how people with ideas ahead of their time were persecuted.
The ethical implications of certain science experiments can be questioned.
History and literature lend themselves to moral questions of choices made.
Writing assignments can sometimes be exercises in "What choice would you
have made?" Being respectful and cooperative are components of good
sportsmanship in P.E. The opportunity to teach morality is present in every
subject area.
I think most educators would agree that it is
not always the planned lesson where the opportunity to teach morality occurs.
Students are not engaged in on task academic learning 100 percent of the school
day. A large portion of the school day is composed of moving from class to
class, changing activities, and social interactions. The manner in which we
treat others is a prime opportunity to teach morality.
A teacher may pull a student aside to praise
him or her for kind actions. A situation at school may bring about an impromptu
discussion of the need to be respectful and tolerant of others. Negative
behaviors might be the reason to assist students in finding ways to peacefully
resolve a conflict. Situations to teach morality surround us in every setting,
every day.
I feel the most important question is not
SHOULD WE, but HOW DO WE teach morality. Adults teaching morality might have the
best intent, but sometimes the wrong approach. Children do not want to be
preached to. Adults don’t want to be preached to. A lecture on what YOU did
wrong and how you SHOULD have done something leaves the recipient feeling hurt,
ashamed, or on the defensive.
In the quest to teach morality, as with any
skill, it is important to model the desired behavior. Helping students make good
moral judgments should engage the children in active learning. Telling children
what the right choice is will not be as effective as assisting children to
process their own personal responses.
The examples in the required reading were
powerful because the educators guided the students through the reasoning
process. The students were active participants. Students were given the
opportunity to personalize the moral dilemma. These students learned to
appreciate the courage it took the pilgrims to make the voyage, they learned
from The Bronx Tale to reflect on the good and bad in each person, but
they learned something even more important. They learned of using the ability to
put oneself in another’s shoes. They received a gift. The gift of the first
stepping stone. Moral maturity is a path of many stepping stones throughout our
lifetime. We should all be helped to take that first step.
Question 4: What was meant by the phrase encountered in your required reading” “We are all moral witnesses”? Describe an instance in the classroom when you were a good moral witness.
Most people fantasize about being a good
moral witness. I think of the movie Twelve Angry Men with Henry Fonda and
fantasize about having the perseverance and courage to speak out for what I know
to be right. I think we all have a character from a film or piece of literature
that we wish to emulate.
Real life is not often as dramatic as film or
literature. The opportunity to be a good moral witness usually does not command
the title role. For most of us the opportunity to be a good moral witness is the
small bit part that goes unnoticed by most.
As I thought about question number four, I
wanted to be able to tell a grand example of how I was a good moral witness.
There is no such wonderful story. I have never stood alone to speak out for what
is right.
I serve as a good moral witness the same way
the majority of the world does. I lead by example. My actions are not important
to many, but they are very important to a few. It is like the story of the man
walking along the beach covered with starfish and stopping to throw some back
in. It is pointed out to him how insignificant his efforts to save all the
starfish are, yet he responds with, "but it is very significant to the ones
I throw back in."
I work with troubled junior high students.
Coping through the junior high years when everything is going right can be
challenging enough. Coping through junior high when everything seems to be going
wrong is even tougher for my students.
One day when I was in the common area of my
building one of my female students approached me and asked if I would go back to
my room and unlock the door so she could get something. I explained that we
would all being going back to the room in just a few minutes and she could wait.
She persisted in trying to persuade me to return to the room. Suddenly, with
typical junior high silliness she picked me up in the fashion that a groom would
carry a bride across the threshold. Before I could finish the sentence to tell
her to put me down her arms gave way. She dropped me bottom first to a concrete
floor. My legs immediately went numb and the pain in my back was intense. The
fall had cracked my tailbone.
I returned to school a few days later walking
very slowly and carrying a large pillow with me everywhere I went. The young
lady who dropped me was very apologetic.
The school I work at has several off duty
police officers who serve as building security. Many of the students were
surprised at my decision to not press charges against the student. If I was not
having her arrested, they at least expected that I would find some way to have
revenge. This was my opportunity to be a good moral witness.
I explained that the student did not intend
to hurt me, that she was sorry for the poor choice she had made. I had no ill
feelings towards her. My example of forgiveness was a small, quiet act, nothing
exceptional. The manner in which I handled this incident had a small impact on
several of the students, but it had a tremendous impact on the young lady who
dropped me. I cannot share with you the troubles of the student who dropped me,
but it was at a time in her life when one more incident report would have had
major repercussions.
People of character serve as good moral
witnesses every day. There is no applause from the crowd. There are no award
ceremonies. There is only the satisfaction of knowing you did what was right
which is the best reward of all.
Question 5: Define
courage. Tell of a youngster who
has had the courage to stand up for his/her beliefs/values.
Count your blessings that Webster complied
the dictionary and the task was not given to me. The book would be so large and
heavy you would need a moving van to transport it to your home.
My first inclination with a question like
this is to reach for my dictionary. Yes, I did look up courage in
Webster’s Dictionary. The definition given was: "The quality or state of
mind or spirit enabling one to face danger or hardship with confidence and
resolution.", an excellent definition of courage. I closed the dictionary
and went to bed. I had a lot to think about.
Several days later I found that I still
agreed with Webster’s definition of courage. I was more consumed with the
second portion of this question. You wanted me to tell of a youngster who had
exhibited courage. Now I had a dilemma. Webster’s did not give an explanation
for what defines an act of courage.
As I try to think of acts of courage my first
thoughts are on headline stories; the fireman who runs back inside the building
to save a child, the stranger who foils the robbery at the local convenience
store, the outspoken leader who is jailed for expressing his/her views. These
dramatic acts of courage do not occur in my classroom. What does occur in my
classroom are small acts of courage, quiet acts of courage, acts that sometimes
go unrecognized for the resolution it took to be so courageous.
My students are very wary of sharing personal
information at school. I have even had students warn other students to stop
talking. They warn them that teachers will be "all up in your
business." A student who is willing to share personal information, who is
willing to state his/her opinion regardless of the opinion of his/her peers
shows courage.
I have witnessed many acts of courage in the
classroom. Some of the instances are too personal and involved to share in a
publication. Some are general enough that they could fit any given student that
walks into a school building. After reading a story that focused on a father -
son relationship one of the boys in my classroom raised his hand. He wanted to
share with the class that his own father had walked out on him and his brother
at an early age. He told the class his father was now in prison and that it had
been years since he had seen him. A few students offered comments about what he
"should" do, how he "should" feel. I was so impressed with
his response. He told the class that it was still his father and that he loved
him. He said he did not respect him but loved him all the same. I have had many
students who have had the courage to share glimpses of their personal
challenges.
One year I had a student who was teased about
his dirty appearance. Sometimes people can be very cruel with their comments. I
did everything in my power to intervene and stop the remarks, but a few still
managed to continue with the harassment. The child usually reacted by remaining
silent, by withdrawing. One day he had had enough. From somewhere within he
mustered the courage to speak out. After a cutting remark he stood up, looked at
the class and in a loud voice said, "Yea, well how would you wash your
clothes if the power at your house was shut off?" He then left the room. It
took a lot of courage to reveal the financial difficulties of his family.
The class sat very quietly. I think we all
stopped for a moment and put ourselves in his shoes. I was humbled by the
courage it took to stand before peers and risk the humiliation that might
possibly follow. Humiliation did not follow for this student, only for those who
had been the tormentors.
Most of us have convictions. Not all of us
have the courage to express them. My definition of an act of courage is the act
of stepping up when we know the risk is great, but when the risk of not stepping
up is even greater.
Question 6: Comment on
the discussion on courage that took place during a 4th grade history
lesson…
In an excerpt from "The Moral
Intelligence of Children", Robert Coles shares the story of a classroom
alive with learning. "I was wondering if the Pilgrims, once they were
aboard the ships, and once they were out to sea, if they thought to themselves:
we did the best thing, we made the right decision." One pondering put into
words by a wise adult started a chain reaction for a discussion of moral
reasoning.
The excerpt never mentions the name of the
teacher. It does not indicate whether the teacher is male or female. At the end
of the reading what you do know is that the teacher is a wise educator.
The movie Dead Poet’s Society made Carpe
Diem a catch phrase. Rather than "seize the day" maybe we should
all try to "seize the moment." A good teacher, a good parent, a good
friend knows how to "seize the moment."
The required reading was an excellent example
of teacher as facilitator. He/she did not lecture about the hardships of being a
pilgrim, nor did he/she lead the discussion. The students directed the
discussion. The students processed the reasoning. The students became active
participants in the learning process.
Another mark of a quality educator is the
ability to be flexible. It is important to plan and prepare for lessons, but a
teacher whose main focus is to stick with the plans does a disservice to
himself/herself and to his/her students. Rigedly staying with your plans for the
day will make you and those around you miserable. If this is not enough
incentive to be flexible consider all the times you have missed the opportunity
to "seize the moment" in your life.
For the last several years I have taught The
Diary of Anne Frank. The majority of my students have not had successful
school experiences. Many of them are challenged in the area of reading ability.
Midway through the year when we prepare to begin the section on Anne Frank
I am faced with complaints from students. "This is way too long!! We will
never be able to get through all of this!! Who cares about something from a long
time ago??"
I have detailed plans of how I want to
present The Diary of Anne Frank. I feel it is extremely important
for the students to also know the history of that time period. World War II was
a time before Watergate, before CNN, before computers. Knowing these things adds
to a better understanding. Having knowledge of the geography of the area aids in
the comprehension. I don’t want my students to skim through the story and
hurry to answer a few questions at the end of the text. I want my students to
absorb the story, to think, to question, to reflect.
"Seizable moments" are the most
powerful learning experiences of all. The learning that students direct, that
students personalize, this is the learning that stays with them for a lifetime.
Some lessons seem more prone to provoking free flowing exploration, but be
prepared to be flexible because "seizable moments" can pop up at
anytime, anywhere.
Due to the intense subject matter of The
Diary of Anne Frank I expect numerous "seizable moments" to arise.
I have learned to appreciate and embrace these moments. No lesson plan I have
made for the day can equal the impact of a classroom spontaneously engaged in a
moral analysis.
Society might label my students as "the
tough kids". They are the ones who always seem to handle problem situations
with aggression. If you did not take the time to get to know them you might
assume they were uncaring. In seven years of teaching The Diary of Anne Frank
I have yet to come across a group of teenagers who have not been moved by the
tragic story.
Every time I teach this section, I am
presented with many teachable moments. Students seem anxious to express opinions
and ask questions. I don’t know if it is because of the type of student I work
with or if this occurs in all classrooms teaching The Diary of Anne Frank,
but each year I seem to have students who want to stop at some point during the
reading to express the fact that "this would NEVER happen to them." I
always respond with a "Really? How come?" The responses vary, but all
have the same general theme. Students tell me how they would just shoot the
guards, how they would break free from the camps, how they would never board the
trains in the first place. The initial comments from students often sound so
heartless. They want to know why the Jewish people simply didn’t fight back.
Why did the Jewish people allow this to happen to them?
This is the moment! This is my chance to get
the ball rolling. This is my opportunity to close the plan book and begin with a
"seizable moment." I keep my personal opinions to myself. I ask simple
questions to get the class involved. "Well....what if the guards had guns,
but you didn’t have a gun?" It is all I can do to keep up with the rapid
fire discussion that begins.
Before any of us realize it, the class period
is over. I am always so excited with the learning that has just taken place.
Students return the next day with comments like, "I was talking to my mom
at supper about those Jewish people and...." Students start back into the
story with a different attitude. Miraculously the story the was initially too
long is now really interesting.
The moment most vivid in my memory is
surprisingly one that made me laugh. Early into the class period, the students
had sparked a lengthy discussion of moral values. At the end of the class I
heard a loud sigh of relief from the back of the room. One of the boys
dramatically dropped his head down onto his desk. When I asked what was wrong,
he shared with all of us that these questions were SO hard that it made his head
hurt. He smiled, shook his head at me, and left with the others. Ahhhh....the
joy of being a teacher!
Question 7: How is a good
person described at the end of the required reading involving “A Bronx
Tale”?
Reading the selection on A Bronx Tale prompted
me to rent the movie. I thought I had seen it before, and I was correct, I had.
The first time I watched it was for the enjoyment of a good movie. This time I
was watching with deeper involvement. I was looking at not only what lessons I
felt I had gained from it, but what lessons I thought others might gain.
The film and the required reading pointed out
that a good person is one who learns from mistakes. A well-known line from an
Aerosmith song says, "Life is a journey, not a destination." Life is a
journey. Along the way there are times that are joyful, times that weigh so
heavy on you that you feel you cannot go on, times that are safe and secure, and
times that are rocky and rough. It is not the path in life that makes the
person; it is the spirit in which the journey is taken that determines one’s
character.
I often hear advice from people to avoid
relationships with people who have "too much baggage." My response is,
"It is not the amount of baggage you have, but how you carry it!"
Some people who have minor struggles in life
can be bitter and negative, yet others who have faced hardships that most of us
will never experience can amaze us with their ability to see the positives of
the challenges they have faced and conquered.
The most powerful remarks from the required
reading were from the boy who shared his thoughts on questioning "how you
live, how you should live." The awareness of making a mistake and then
trying to correct the mistake is the mark of character.
Every student in my alternative classroom is
there because of a "mistake." They often come with the idea that they
have been placed with me because they are bad. I am quick to explain to them
that they are NOT bad, that they only made a poor choice. They made a mistake,
which simply means they can join the rank of everyone else on the planet.
Being a "bad person" or a
"good person" is not the choice that you made, but what you choose to
do tomorrow!
Question 8: What should a
teacher do when he sees a student trying to get another student in trouble or
somehow disrupting the class?
The question of how to deal with a disruptive
student could easily be an essay of its own. If I were a college professor
teaching future teachers I would have numerous books on dealing with problem
behaviors on my required reading list. After all the reading, discussions, and
role playing I would leave the students with one piece of advice. "Every
situation is unique, every child is unique. Think before you react."
Most school districts have discipline
handbooks. The handbooks list actions and consequences. Handbooks are excellent
guidelines for what consequence should be given. The mark of a quality educator
is how he/she handles the disruptive situation.
Common sense tells us that a violent outburst
by a student would be handled differently from a student talking during a test.
The essential factor is respect. Treating a student with respect is a win-win
situation. The student is given the opportunity to correct the behavior with
his/her self-esteem intact. The other students in the classroom have had the
opportunity to observe a positive way to handle a negative situation. And...when
the last school bell rings for the day, you walk away with your own
self-respect.
Few of us can walk the path of a Martin
Luther King, Jr., a Ghandi, or a Mother Teresa. It is a constant battle to fight
the emotions of the moment. In the heat of the moment, it is easy to lash out in
anger or be tempted to reply to a student’s remark with cutting sarcasm.
Years of life experience and teaching
experience have taught me to stop and think before reacting. I try to put myself
in the student’s situation. I remind myself how I wanted to be treated by
teachers when I was in school. I ask myself how I would want this child treated
if he/she was my own child.
Working in an alternative education school, I
am confronted with disruptive behaviors on a daily basis. I have the typical
disruptive behaviors you would observe in any given classroom. Due to my
setting, I probably have more incidents of violent disruptions than the average
teacher. Seven years of working with troubled youth has helped me tremendously.
My years working with elementary children in
the regular school setting were wonderful. Both experiences have brought
rewards, but the experience in the alternative setting gives me unending
emotional growth.
Several years ago the building principal came
to speak to me after school. She wanted to discuss a particular student of mine.
She asked how "Melissa" was doing. I told her that she had been acting
very differently. "Melissa" had been much quieter than her usual self.
She was quick to lash out with a hateful remark when she did choose to
participate. She shared with me that "Melissa" was coping with a very
difficult situation. Her parents had problems with drugs and domestic violence.
Both parents were staying at different shelters to receive help.
"Melissa" and her four siblings were each staying with different
relatives while the parents were absent.
Her life was a million miles apart from the "Little
House on the Prairie" childhood I had been so fortunate to grow
up with. All night I thought about "Melissa." I wondered about how in
the world I could have coped with that same situation when I was her age. I
still corrected "Melissa." I still gave consequences for actions. Life
can deal us terrible blows, but we still need to make good choices. Something
changed that day. It wasn’t "Melissa", it was me. My resolve to
correct with compassion was strengthened.
I don’t deal with every disruptive student
in the perfect way. I make mistakes all the time. What I strive to do is
self-reflect. If I make a mistake in disciplining a student, I take the time to
apologize for my error. I ask no less of myself than I do of my students - learn
from your mistakes and always aim to improve your actions
Question 9: In light of
the article by Shannon Brownlee regarding the development of the teen brain, do
you think that the Foundation may be giving teens too much credit?
I found Shannon Brownlee’s article
"Inside The Teen Brain" very interesting. I am not a neurosurgeon, but
I definitely have an opinion on the research that was cited.
The article claims that one of the last parts
to mature in the brain is the part that is in charge of making sound judgments
and calming unruly emotions. Neuroscientist Sandra Witelson is quoted as saying
"The teenage brain is a work in progress."
It is my opinion that every brain is a work
in progress. Every life experience we have affects how our brain will process
future experiences. We are in a state of growth our entire lifetimes.
Most of us know that we learn best by doing.
Read ten books on how to build a house. Listen to a lecture from a master
carpenter on how it is done. Go build your house with this knowledge. I wish you
the best of luck. Build a few homes as an apprentice and I will feel much more
comfortable hiring you to build mine!
I believe the Singer Foundation is doing
exactly the right thing by providing young people the opportunity to act
responsibly, to interact with adults in the community, and to make mature
decisions. Some of the young people will make immature decisions, but this is
how we learn.
I am in my forties, and I like to think that
I am still learning to make choices that are more mature. Thank goodness I was
given the opportunity to begin this process at a young age.
The research on the teen brain should not
encourage us to deny young people the opportunity to make mature decisions. It
should instead encourage us to be more accepting of mistakes they might make
along the way. We cannot expect the next generation to make a difference in the
world if we keep the door to the world bolted shut.
Question l0: If you think
your students are capable, will you engage a group in one of our pilot projects?
If not, why not?
I would be glad to engage my students in one
of the Harry Singer Foundation pilot projects. As with most public schools I
would need administrative approval to involve my classroom. I do not feel this
would present a problem.
Projects which involve problem solving or
character development are highly needed with the population of students I work
with. Many of my students are functioning below grade level. It is important to
improve their academic skills, but I feel it is even more important for my
students to improve social skills.
I have never heard a teacher say, "I
cannot stand to help Debbie with math because it is so challenging for
her." I have heard teachers say "I cannot stand to work with Debbie
because she has a terrible attitude."
It is in the nature of most people to be
helpful. If you have the right attitude, most people will go out of their way to
lend you a helping hand. The social skills you develop will affect your entire
life. Your marriage, your career, your family relationships, every aspect of
your life is affected by the level of the social skills you have learned.
Due to the nature of my educational setting,
the dynamics in my classroom are constantly changing. I gain new students on a
weekly basis. This could cause some difficulty with long term projects, but I
believe it would be worth the effort to adjust a program that was beneficial to
the students.
The type of projects offered by The Harry Singer Foundation would benefit any classroom. Students at risk in any classroom would surely have the most to gain.