Today dad may not even come home from work until after ten o'clock because he works part-time at the local factory trying to earn some extra cash for his daughter's 'new' car, or the braces little Jimmy needs. Mom may be out in the workforce too. When she comes home she's probably too tired to make supper so the kids grab something from the freezer and pop it in the microwave on their way out to their own job to earn money for college. Yes, the average life of the average family is, what seems to be, ten thousand times more complicated than that of Ward and June Cleaver's.

I have nothing against people working, and trying to better their family by trying to earn a few extra dollars, but are they really helping their family? Those once [six o'clock] family dinners are rare, except for maybe on holidays. Family dinners brought tales of everybody's day. The family was together.

I asked my four closest friends what their families were like. My friend Sara said that because she works a lot, she doesn't have that much time to spend with her family. Her sister lives in another town, her boyfriend lives in yet another town, her dad has passed on, and her mother is beginning a new life with her new husband. Sara misses those family dinners when everybody was around.

A guy I work with has way too much responsibility for a 17 year old. He works fifty-two hours a week, maintains a 3.90 grade point average, pays all of the bills, and cleans the house. What does his mother do and where is his dad? His dad is nowhere to be seen. He does not even pay child support for the three children he fathered. Dan's mom had a good job, but she quit it because they worked her too hard. I know that isn't true because I worked at the business with her. What is wrong with this picture? I don't think that anyone at age 17 should be paying all of the bills and taking care of his family. The responsibility lies with the parent. After the first child, didn't she see how much of a responsibility taking care of a child was before she went off having more? I realize that this isn't a paper accusing Dan's mom, but one of the problems in America is the responsibility of parents.

Children are growing up faster than they use to, but now when both parents are in the workforce, the child has to fend for him or herself from the time school is out until the parent or parents get home. That job may include answering the door to strangers, taking care of younger siblings, and maybe making sure that there is supper to eat.

So, just what is going on? Why is everyone behaving like this? Why are families falling apart? How come there are so many deadbeat parents that don't pay the legal guardian to take care of their flesh and blood?

I think the current system of values and the way that people act has got to change. Yes, there are some people who do some good in the world. One example that I recall of something being good, is when a woman from New England made out her will, and bequeathed everything she had to a school for the deaf in Washington, D.C. Sure, people may have laughed when she said she would leave her entire estate to the school. But when she did die, her estate was worth over four million dollars!

You see, there are people who know what's right. Maybe it's due to a good upbringing and a stable family. I don't mean to criticize all of those who come from mixed families because I do myself. My mom and dad divorced when I was two years old. My mom got remarried seven years later, and my dad will be getting married next fall. I know what it is like to have to find my own supper and come home to an empty house. I love my family dearly. My dad is an alcoholic who does pay child support. At one time he worked three jobs just to invest money in a trust fund for me for college. I understand how families drift apart as children grow up. Cars are becoming the things that pull families apart. Before I didn't have a car I had to depend on my parents for rides. And because of their jobs, I wasn't always able to partake in after school activities because the only ride home was the bus that left right after school.

"Even amidst all this talk of horrendous behavior of whining and blaming, there are some signs of hope. Responsibility may be harder to spot in these times of self indulgence, but it is there. An example of responsible action was witnessed by students in Oceanside, California. Picture this situation: Marcus borrowed $25 from Jimmy and did not pay him back. Jimmy then threatened to beat Marcus up. At most high schools there would have been an ensuing fight, but at Oceanside they have a conflict resolution program where students meet with a mediator to talk through problems. Jimmy and Marcus sat down and talked. Jimmy said he needed his money to buy his mom a birthday present. Marcus then said he was ashamed that he could not pay back the money. Finally, the boys agreed that Marcus would pay back $5 a week until all the money was paid back. This program prevented violence."
Ryan Stuckey, Iowa - Grant High School, Livingston, Wisconsin