It Takes A Community

By Beth Ann Zimmerman

Grade- 12

When I reflect on all of the terrible events of the past few years- the numerous school shootings, murders, and other heinous crimes- I often wonder what drove these people to do the horrifying things they did. Did they watch too many violent movies, hear racial slurs on a daily basis? Were they beaten or abused? Another thought creeps into my mind as well: how could they have been allowed to have become so far gone? Parents, friends and neighbors, and the people themselves should have known something was wrong, and tried to help; that is why the role of personal responsibility in improving the quality of life in our communities today rests with everyone.

As a child whose parents divorced when I was young, I understand, perhaps better than most people, that children whose parents are married, or even get along, are extremely lucky. My mother, father, and stepfather all love and support me, and I do my best, as a teenager, to treat them with the same respect. These three people have instilled in me many qualities that I will need to survive in the world; a job which many parents, if graded, would barely pass. However, there are those who do a remarkable job. They monitor which television programs their children watch, restrict which video games kids play (such as "Duke Nukem," a favorite with the Columbine killers), and even go so far as to dictate which friends they can and cannot see. In "She Said Yes: The Unlikely Martyrdom of Cassie Bernall," Cassie's mother, Misty, tells of the steps she and her husband took in their mission to save their daughter from the troubled path she was following. These steps included changing schools, moving several times, and restricting her friends. Although in the end Cassie was a victim of the Columbine massacre, thanks to the endless love of her parents, she was saved from another terrible fate.

It has often been said that it takes a village to raise a child, yet how often do our friends and neighbors, or even we ourselves, follow through? One part of many baptism ceremonies is a question to the congregation, asking if they will, among other things, assist the parents in the growth and development of the child. The response is always "We will," but how often do we? The thought crosses my mind of an old woman saying to herself, "If only her mother knew what she was doing!" Many parents do not know where their children are, or what they are doing; that is why it is our responsibility to tell them what goes on when they are not looking. Even if the parents are unwilling to listen or do not believe what they have been told, it is still our duty to clue them in on their children's deeds. On the other hand, instead of tattling on others, we could help them ourselves. Having a nice talk or helping someone carry their groceries could mean a great deal. "A friend in need is a friend indeed," and although it may just be saying, "hello" to another, that one action might brighten their day. There is a story about a boy who had dropped what he was carrying, and another young man stopped, and helped him to carry his belongings home. They talked for a little while, and eventually the other boy went home. Years later, they met again, and the one who had been carrying all of his books told the other that he had saved his life that day. The boy had cleaned out his locker so that his family would not have to do it, because he had intended to kill himself that day; but because the other boy had helped him, and shown him kindness, he decided against it, and went on to enjoy a very happy life. One moment of kindness changed his fate forever.

From a very early age, children are instilled with the knowledge of right and wrong. For instance, they know not to speak unless called upon, or not to blow bubbles in their milk at the dinner table. Where then, is the exact point when this knowledge becomes trivial? Is it when we realize that what our parents do not know cannot hurt us? There have been times when I have used a little white lie, or even a big black one, to get myself out of a sticky situation; nevertheless, more than fifty percent of the time, I get caught anyway. Most people believe that, as long as they push the limits a little at a time, they will never get into serious trouble. However, others realize that it is their responsibility, once they have been caught, to learn from their mistakes, and to not jeopardize their future by continuing down that destructive path. This responsibility lies solely on our shoulders.

In society today, it is believed that the improvement in our communities is related to the way children are raised. I believe that this responsibility rests with not only the children themselves, but also with their friends, neighbors, and, most importantly, their parents. The quality of life in our communities is directly related to the people who live there. The only way to improve it is to start with ourselves, and reiterate the things which we have learned, to our children.

Works Cited

Bernall, Misty. "She Said Yes: The Unlikely Martyrdom of Cassie Bernall.", The Plough Publishing House of the Bruderhof Foundation (1999)

Questions

Q1. In the United States, the government is trying to make it tougher to get a divorce, while in Manus, people invest goods into a marriage, and are later paid back.

Q2. a) 10 years, second marriage for both, they agree that that couples should do things together, such as go to church.

b) 54 years, first marriage for both, they say to be nice to one another at all times, and to consider each other equals.

c) 50 years, first marriage for both, always think of the other person, not just yourself, and take time to talk things out.

d) 5 years, first marriage for both, make time for each other

e) 7 years, first marriage for wife, second for husband, they agree that communication is key in a happy, healthy relationship.

f) 22 years, first for both, they tell each other that they love each other every day.

g) 16 years, second for both, they encourage couples to never go to bed angry.

h) 34 years, first for both, they say that personal space is sometimes needed, but to always do your best to work things out.

i) 1 year, second for both, they agree that communication is necessary, and that not being selfish is also very important.

j) 37 years, first for both, they agree that mutual respect is one of the most important aspects of a marriage.

Q3. According to Eckersley, "Our goal should be to dematerialize society without reducing quality of life."

Q4. A goal for my local community is to initiate more after-school programs, and programs on Saturday, for kids to participate in.

Q5. We must look past each other's skin color. This will help close the "socioeconomic gap" and help the nation to fare better in the next century, than in the last.

Q6. Our democracy lets lawyers create a form of public responsibility and accountability by allowing us to fight against, among other things, tobacco producers and gun manufacturers. Our diversity brings more conflict than with other countries that are more homogenous. Because of this conflict, law is able to step in to mediate across factions. Our nation's wealth causes us to turn to luxuries once our needs have been satisfied ( i.e. the luxuries of clean air and water). Law can step in to solve these problems. America's size creates a need for lawyers to set up rules and regulations that enable transactions among people who do not know each other. These rules help to regularize an organizations activities, and allow us to save money on human interactions.

Q7. I prefer punitive damages, because if a person is faced with the consequences of his or her actions, I honestly believe that they will think twice before they do something wrong. An alternative would be to always enforce these consequences, and make them more strict so that kids will be less likely to do something wrong in the first place.

Q8. a) they are the healthiest and most educated generation, and it is likely that they will start their own businesses when they retire

b) their years of experience and extensive business contacts will make older workers highly competitive

c) older entrepreneurs will offer services to "Gen X'ers" who will have families.

Q9. The likelihood of President Clinton's anti-poverty program working seem very slim. Firstly, people who live in rural areas, such as in Appalachia, do not have any collateral, and they therefore do not apply for loans. Next, banks can tend to discriminate against minorities, making it extremely difficult for them to get help from them. Finally, investors have a fear of risk in poor areas because they have no information about borrowers with no credit history.

Q10. Both Truett Cathy and Tom Lewis are moved by the plight of children, are devoted Christians, and have begun programs to assist kids with their education.