Preparation Instead Of A Rite Of Passage

by Lindsey Hubbell
Grade 11

Having babies, getting married, and turning eighteen or twenty-one; these are all times in life when we are typically thought of as truly “grown up”, as adults. But does this really mean we are ready to take on all of the responsibilities of being grown up? Some cultures initiate a rite of passage that defines being an adult. Young people go through challenges that test their ability to fend for themselves. If they come out of it ok, then they are part of the tribe and an adult. Does America need to start a process such as this? Will a rite of passage really help troubled youths stay on track? No. A required rite of passage will be nothing more than a bump on the road to most people. Instead of a rite of passage, we should start raising our children better, teaching them better life skills and setting better examples. Then there would be no need to define exactly when a person becomes an “adult”; instead it would just be assumed that they were raised well enough to survive on their own.

A big problem in America today is the fact that teenagers don’t have enough guidance and support from the people with whom we are in close contact. We are given many freedoms as young adults. We have a million colleges to choose from, a billion career choices, and a zillion influences on who we should be and what we want to be, not only from television but from our parents as well. All of these choices can cause us to be confused as to what it means to be an adult. Perhaps it is the lack of guidance that causes some of us to go astray. Instead of giving America’s youth a rite of passage to complete before being considered an adult, parents and educators should teach better life skills when we are younger. Job requirements, public speaking, personal responsibility, and morals could be taught in schools and set as examples by parents.

The school environment is a huge part of a teenager’s life. What goes on inside those walls will help to shape a person into who they are. That is why communities should push for more life related classes. In the end, possibly, all of my math skills and knowledge of earth science will not help me to deal with my boss and coworkers, it won’t help me work in cooperation with others, and it won’t help me take care of myself. A great class would be social interaction, a class that teaches polite manners, job interview etiquette, and simple things like balancing a checkbook. We would learn how to go about choosing a college, or running a business. Another class could focus just on learning who you are. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Be yourself, that’s all there is of you.” Special classes would cause students to think about their ideas and concerns, which would help them to form their own identity. Character development is an example of a class like this.

Teachers can also do their part by relating books and lessons to our lives. Classic stories span time and still carry valuable lessons for us to learn from, and sometimes this is overlooked. What good does it do us to read all of these novels and stories if we can’t relate it to our lives? It would be beneficial for students to understand why they are studying something and what it has to do with them. For example, when we read the book To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, it would be important to talk about racism and prejudice that goes on today. The reading of these books is not so important as learning from them.

Parents are probably the biggest influence on our lives at the present time. Everyday we watch them, listen to them, and ask for advice. So it is no wonder that if a child is brought up with parents that do not know how to communicate and raise a child, that person will grow up without the right skills to live on her own, or they will certainly have trouble with independence. The key terms here are support, communication, and guidance. When parents are encouraging towards their child it is only natural that the kid will do well in school and in life. It gives them confidence to do better and to take care of themselves. Communication is huge deal in a parent-child relationship. If the parent does not tell their child that something such as drugs is wrong, how will that kid ever know? Parents should tell the child how life is and how to prepare for it. Sometimes just spending quality time with your kid can make a huge difference in their lives. The correct guidance will replace the need for a rite of passage.

Does America need a rite of passage to set teenagers on the right track? Not at all. What we need is more support from our parents, and better preparation from teachers.

Required Reading Questions

Q1 In the beginning of “Coming of Age in Somoa,” Margaret Mead mentions the young people in America and personal fulfillment. This relates to the army advertisements of today. The army boasts that joining will bring you personal fulfillment as well as the skills to enter the workplace prepared and confident.

Q2 I believe that all of these issues are still present in the home today, and probably will be for a long time to come. The language spoken at home enriches a family by teaching a different culture and a way of life. Parents are still pressuring their children to do well in school, and to honor the family name.

Q3 I believe that culture is a part of who you are, so if you wish to change it, change it. Culture is man-made. It is built from the experiences of a people’s life, from their personal experiences and memories. Culture is a mixture of family traditions, heritage and personality. It is festivals, holidays, family trees, and history of your native country.

Q4 Margaret Mead was advocating a greater knowledge and control over the civilizing process. She would want more involvement of parents in their children’s lives, as well as a return to traditional values in the home.

Q5 As bad as it may seem, Susan’s speech spoke the truth. There are so many things going on in our school that teachers and administrators seem to overlook. Where are they when a whole hallway smells like marijuana because kids came to school high? What are they doing to stop students from going to the bathrooms and smoking? And what about the kids that come to school drunk? Maybe we don’t want teachers and administrators to realize what is going on, but it is necessary. Allowing this to go on at our schools is only hurting that school as a whole. What good is it for the students to come to school messed up? Then there’s the problem of the other students distracted by the students that are drunk or high.

Q6 I don’t believe it is important for you to know what I have seen or experienced concerning drugs at school. Whatever the situation, what is important is that I knew how to deal with it in my own way and I know what I think about such things. Drugs are a part of life, used in a good way (such as prescriptions) or in bad ways. I don’t feel it is necessary for me to use them, to experience what it feels like to be high or tripping. But I am also not on a crusade for others to stop. It is their life, and what they do with it does not concern me and I should not influence it in any way.

Q7 The solution to this problem of stereotyping lies with in the individual. We will always encounter people that disagree with us and think badly of us, but it is up to the person being discriminated against to rise above it.

Q8 Although it would be a relief to just go to classes and learn, I wouldn’t be very happy. What might seem like a good thing now would most likely get boring and old in a few weeks time. Part of the fun of school is going and thinking for myself. Some of my classes also relate what we are learning to real life, which I will keep with me for the rest of my life or at least longer than I will remember who fought in this war or what synthetic division is. I believe that home-schooling and single sex private schools place great restrictions on necessary learning. Being in a public school, I am exposed to a lot of different people and experiences. Even if some of my classes are not as exciting as others, interacting with the people here is well worth it.

Q9 I do not believe that it is the complete responsibility of the schools to teach us how to live. Most of that learning comes from watching our parents and learning from experience. It is great when we can relate something we are studying to our lives, but that is not always the case. If my school incorporated community- based learning classes into our regular classes, it would probably be helpful. If they taught us more about college and the work place we would leave high school with a better base to succeed on our own.

Q10 A loss of communication can create a serious problem in a family. Sometimes it seems as though parents or grown-ups are afraid to talk to us. Perhaps this is because they don’t want to deal with the problems at hand, such as alcohol and drug abuse. Whatever the case, if communication lines were open wider than they are teenagers would hopefully have more positive role models to look up to. This would help to lower basic problems in the community such as drugs, alcohol, and teenage pregnancy.