Chapter Two

Kids Get Too Little Love And
Attention At Home

“In today’s world teens do not have the opportunity to talk to their parents because both parents [are generally] working. Many parents don’t even know what is going on in their child’s life because of too much involvement in work and bringing in money for the family to survive.”
Tonya Rix, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

“Parents have become so engaged in working a nine to five job to make a ‘better’ life for their children that it’s rare if they see those children for more that a couple of hours a day. It’s common for parents to be completely unaware of where their child is, what grades their child maintains, and what, if any, major traumatic events their child has endured.”
Brooke Eddy, Valley Springs High School, Valley Springs, Arkansas

“Society is so focused on making money, that the most important things in life are being pushed aside. For instance, families aren’t as strong as they…were in previous generations. Because of jobs to bring in money to meet the demands of our world, parents are rarely home.” 
Trisha Miller, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

But work isn’t always a necessity:

“People are too concerned with making vast amounts of money and becoming a success. Many times they don’t realize what they are leaving behind. Children often spend more time with babysitters than with their own parents; when parents do spend time with their children, their attention seems to be more focused on aspects of their career than their kids.”
Jennifer Brungardt, Medicine Lodge High, Medicine Lodge, Kansas

 “Times have changed. Money is valued more than anything today and family doesn’t even matter. In addition, grandparents are now sadly neglected and put into nursing homes…family values are not known anymore. People simply give up and do not even try to solve their problems.”
Sarah Gerencher, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

Although in different states, Kellen and Cory agree:

 “We, as children, do not care if our parents make a large amount of money. We would rather have good relationships with our parents. This in turn will make us better individuals who will contribute to improving the quality of life in our communities.”
Kellen Bosma, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

“Kids would rather have a close relationship with their parents than any expensive gift.”
Cory Sievers, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

Where are the parents?

“For many children who have career-dedicated parents, they suffer a certain insecurity. They begin to feel that their parents’ careers are more important than they are, creating a certain void between child and parent. Although a child may have every material thing he has ever wished for he is missing out on the one true important need-love and attention from his parents. In the end, the child feels neglected and deprived and can suffer [from lack of] self-esteem.
Amy Henson, Camden Central High School, Camden, Tennessee

“Parents are the ones who have the first and most important contact with a child. The first two years of a child’s life are the most vital. If the toy industry tries to come to the rescue of lonely kids with a doll designed to remind them of their mothers, this says that parents are not making themselves available to their children as often as they should be and therefore are not there to notice when their child needs a reward or some sort of assistance.”
Lauren Heit, Kinsley High School, Kinsley, Kansas

Editor’s Note: Reference to doll, above, comes from reading reproduced  on page 223 which was required before students began their essays.

“Children learn almost everything at their home. This is the time where you [parents] need to take a break from business…”
Rebecca Olney, Kadoka High School, Kadoka, South Dakota

Latchkey Kids

“The latchkey kid is one of the most widely spread issues that has been blamed for violence in adolescents including school shootings and suicide. A latchkey-kid is defined as a child [who] arrives home [from school] before his or her parents get there.”
Jessie Woelbing, Valley Springs High School, Valley Springs, Arkansas

“Parents who are constantly striving for success in the workplace often leave their children at home to fend for themselves. In some cases these latchkey children that are barely even old enough to take care of themselves…are left at home to take care of younger siblings. I feel that a mother’s responsibility is to her family first. Children grow up fast enough without having to play the role of parent to their brothers and sisters while mom or dad is off at work. This irresponsibility on the parent’s part is…unfair to their children.”
Mary Coleman Mayberry, Demopolis High, Demopolis, Alabama

“Whom will these latchkey children talk to about how their day went when they get home from school? If they are not in school yet, many of these children are at a baby-sitter or daycare where they will not get the attention they need. Because of this, many of these children are in need of a human connection. Who or what will they turn to?
Tricia McGreer, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

But Jessica speaks from experience:

“As a latchkey kid myself I believe that by working regular jobs, my parents have instilled a good work ethic that could never have been done otherwise. We need to stop pointing fingers at these parents that are actually trying and pull together to help them. 
Jessie Woelbing, Valley Springs High School, Valley Springs, Arkansas

No time to spare:

“In my opinion, I think the parents of today have really let us kids down. Parents do not spend time with their kids anymore, they are just always busy with hardly ever any time to spare.”
Stephanie Ellison, Harriman High School, Harriman, Tennessee

“The responsibility of keeping up with work and family is a main cause of stress for parents today. Concern for the increased time at work and the declining time for family is almost everywhere in America. This struggle between work and family is a national [struggle]…”
Michael McDaniel, Demopolis High School, Demopolis, Alabama

Single parent homes:

“There are more single-parent homes today. In these situations kids are left to take care of themselves. The only role models they may see are fictitious or negative. Growing up today, there are many decisions that need to be made.  Some kids are not as fortunate as others who have parents to talk with them.”

Ashley Clough, Harriman High School, Harriman, Tennessee

“A teen has the most home responsibilities in a one parent situation. [That] parent is going to be working hard [so] that means the teen is going to have to cook and clean. This is good to teach the teen responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, and taking care of siblings, but keeps them from talking with friends after school and may hinder their schoolwork. Sometimes the teen may have to take on a job to help pay bills and support the family. That’s a pretty big responsibility. In other scenarios the parent may be strung out on drugs with the teen and three other siblings. Teens may be responsible for not only taking care of themselves, but also the rest of the family.

     In a two-parent home I don’t think the teen must take on such harsh responsibilities. They might have to make their bed, clean their room, wash the dishes, or do the laundry. Those are not that tough of responsibilities. When the two parents are lawyers, doctors, or [members of] another profession that [requires them to] work many hours a week, the teen must take on…responsibilities similar to those in a single parent home.

Randell Gates, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

Teen pregnancy:

“A lot of ‘kids’ are having kids and they are unable to support them. Children get brought up in unstable homes and harmful beliefs are instilled in their minds.”

Jamie Ludwig, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

“The main role models for most young people are their parents and some parents are not mature enough to parent their children. Some of these include teen mothers and those parents who marry and have children at too young an age. These immature parents do not have the ability to positively motivate their children to make good choices in life. One main reason for this is that the parents have not made good choices themselves and do not tell their children that the choices that they made were not the right ones.”
Mark Olsen, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

“No one is comfortable talking about sex, so most people turn a blind eye to the subject. Everyone seems to say not to do it, but fail to provide any type of education beyond that point. Most teens resent being told not to do something without being given a solid reason so they participate in the activity readily. Ultimately they will find themselves carrying a large burden that could have been avoided.”

Josh Onken, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois       

Ignorance isn’t bliss:

“It’s not that parents don’t know what’s going on in their children’s lives, but they just choose to ignore it. …That’s not helping the child out at all.”

Julia M. Nelson, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

“If adults think that there is no problem out there concerning drugs and alcohol, they need to open their eyes and wake up. The issue of drugs and alcohol is out there and it must be controlled.” 

Casey L. Wipperling, Newell-Fonda High, Newell, Iowa

“The shootings in Littleton, Colorado, and the rapes and murders of everyday life [are often] blamed on either Hollywood movies [or] world news…people…say it is because their children watch TV. In my opinion, it is because people misuse and abuse their children by beating, molesting, threatening, and ignoring them.”

Jayne Burrow, Salem High School, Salem, Missouri

“The problems that face today’s kids can go undetected…adults…just don’t want to believe that there is a problem with drugs and alcohol and if they do they don’t believe that it will ever happen to their kid. Until the problem is recognized by adults the problem will continue.”

Pat Wolff, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

Drop Outs:

“Another problem youth face today is an increasing number of dropouts. This lack of desire to succeed may cause a shortage of workers in the future. The reason for these dropouts is usually because students just don’t fit in at school. What’s even more shocking is that a large number of these dropouts have parents who don’t even care that their child dropped out.”

Tricia McGreer, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

Poor parenting skills

“Unfortunately, today’s adults are getting used to the idea of mass technology. With the aid of technology everything is done so quickly. This ability is hurting our family life. Parents are becoming impatient much quicker because any problem that cannot be fixed in a short amount of time becomes frustrating. With this fact we can see that the relationship between adults and teenagers is becoming more and more flimsy.”

Evan Weller, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois    

“Parents are probably the biggest influence on our lives at the present time. Everyday we watch them, listen to them, and ask for advice. So it is no wonder that if a child is brought up with parents that do not know how to communicate and raise a child, that person will grow up without the right skills to live on her own, or they will certainly have trouble with independence.”

Lindsey Hubbell, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

“Too many children are victims of violence and of bewilderment to the people that are supposed to love them the most. Where did society go wrong?  Where are our parents?”

Kimberly Kaufman, Big Spring High, Newville, Pennsylvania

“Parents today are not protective of their children. …Parents now allow their children to watch television shows unsupervised...listen to music that may be contributing to certain attitudes, and play video games that actually teach children how to fight. When facing problems at school these children choose to solve them with fist and mouths. This in fact only creates more problems.”

Jennifer Arwood, Harriman High School, Harriman, Tennessee

“In a recent teacher poll thirty-six percent believe that there is a lack of parental supervision at home, thirty-three percent believe there is a lack of family involvement with school…parenting that indulges neglect, abuses or ignores children, and that fails to provide strong, positive guidance, discipline, and nurture, contributes to the spread of violence in schools. …Thirty-six percent of them believe that…lack of parental supervision at home [contributes to violence at school.]”

Kristy Lowery, Salem High School, Salem, Missouri

Where are the families?

“A strong traditional family is slipping away and parents spend less time with their children.”

Tracy Hanna, Carrollton High School, Carrollton, Ohio

“While adults are working to make a living, teens today are cruising the mall or driving around in their cars, wasting their time and money being lazy and useless. It is true that many teens have part-time jobs, but most of them just use the money to buy clothes or CDs instead of spending it on worthwhile things that teach responsibility.”

Rachel Murrin, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

“Good homes and good families are hard to come by, which leaves many people, mostly teens, feeling unloved, unimportant, and unnoticed. This is where the problem with violence comes in. …The school shootings were done by young teens who, in one way or another, were usually unhappy with something in their lives.”

Rachel Casey, Salem High School, Salem, Missouri

Trick or treat? Acting up or more attention?

“Teenage violence: is it an outcry of rebellion or a desperate outreach for attention?”

Elisabeth Slayden, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

“A shot rings out through the halls. Teachers race to lock their doors. A desperate cry for attention. A need to be loved. Does this sound familiar? A teenager is defined in the dictionary as ‘someone in their teens.’ This definition is unclear and confusing. That is what being a teenager is all about: lost and undefined. Today teens suffer from the trials of adolescence every waking moment. There is a…need to find a way to help these teens become adults and face the real world.”

Tamara Parchert, Rockridge High, Taylor Ridge, Illinois       

Too little attention from communities:

“Communities today, as well as families, are not as close-knit as they used to be, and part of it is the way teens do not take any responsibility in their communities.”

Rachel Murrin, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

Too little attention from authorities:

“Also, school policies are getting more lax.  Every day I see underage students smoking outside the school hidden from view. Sometimes I see students using chewing tobacco to, once again, be ‘cool’ upon the school premises. The only reason we do not see these acts is because we do not look for them…school employees may see these acts and not care, but that is the problem, not caring. In some teen’s lives, drugs are as important as eating and sleeping. Officials…overlook these teens. We need to catch teens in the act, to look for them so we can cut the drug problem at the root.
Blake Anderson, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

“A controlled study was done at the University of Kentucky by an organization known as BACCHUS, in which campus leaders drove a simple course on the parking lot laid out with cones to represent pedestrians. At half-hour intervals, the leaders drank another drink and drove the course again. In less than two hours, the leaders were bragging about their performance—but several cones lay knocked down.”

Alison Cornell, Salem High School, Salem, Missouri

“If it were harder for teens to get alcohol and tobacco products, it might cut down on the under age use of them. If there were a harsher penalty for using these products under age people would not experiment with them because they would be scared of the penalty. The penalty for over use or under age use of these products needs to be harsh enough that teenagers are scared to use them.”

Luke Vander May, Kadoka High School, Kadoka, South Dakota

Kids need guidance wherever they can get it:

“Teenagers are desperate for guidance, and when they don’t get what they need at home or in school, they join cliques, gangs or immerse themselves in a universe out of their parents’ reach. Teenagers may claim that they want privacy, but they also crave and need attention. Martina McBride stated in one of her songs that teenagers are walking around in a culture of darkness, living together alone. But…guidance from parents, teachers, or other adults…can shine some light into their lives…When teenagers have the sense that they are being ignored by their parents, teens are more vulnerable to serious emotional problems.”                                                 

Lynde Edwards, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

Without proper attention kids feel overburdened and insecure:

 “Many children are being rushed from a carefree childhood to a worrisome adult in a very short period of time. Children need time to be kids, they need time to play in their sandboxes, ride their bicycles to the swimming pool, and even make mud pies in the backyard. Children don’t need to be worrying about cleaning the house, making supper, and babysitting for younger siblings. When children aren’t treated as children, they often rebel later on.” 

Nikki Hazen, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

“Teenagers these days have to mature too quickly due to the fact of both parents working outside the home. Teenagers today have to learn to cook, clean, etc., before they are old enough to get their learner’s permit. Teenagers need that extra time to grow up on their own.  Forcing teenagers to grow up too fast puts a strain on them as well as their parents. Guidance is the key. However, there is a surmountable difference between guidance and force. Guidance will allow teenagers the time they need to explore his or her world; in contrast, force will put stress on teenagers too soon, with problems inevitably proceeding.”

Brandon Artist, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

“Suicide is the second leading cause of death among kids ages fifteen to nineteen. Teens are not aware of their importance, so they believe their life is expendable. Many teens take their own lives and never know how much they are missed by their family members, friends, and classmates. Young adults also face many troubles.”

Cassie Flynn, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois     

“Some teens feel that they have nothing left to live for. Many do not have an adult to turn to when they are having problems, whether they are at home or at school. Teens believe that adults are too old to know how to help them.”

Amanda Price, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

 “Society wonders why teens are into gangs, violence, and drugs. It’s because teens don’t have their parents at home to discipline them, teach them moral values, and set structures for them. Yes, teens do need certain limits and standards to follow, but without adults there to give those limits and standards to them, it causes our society to turn out the way that it is. Teens also get involved in things because they know it is illegal and they want to see if they can get away with it without getting caught.”

Tonya Rix, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

Michelle has mixed feelings:

“Teens today live their lives by talking to each other. Most teens look to their peers for advice and for their values, so parents and other adults do not have very important roles in their lives. Personally, I believe that adolescents do want adults to know what is going on and to enforce boundaries and structure.”

Michelle Hudson, Rockridge High, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

Susan is adamant:

“Positive influences in the home are needed very badly.”
Susan Mackey, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

Most teens are optimists. They believe they can rise to any occasion if given the opportunity to do so:

“I would like to say that teens are not weak, but strong. They endure many harsh responsibilities in this harsh world. …While teens do make mistakes they learn from them and become strong adults.

Randell Gates, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

“People need to stop worrying about teenagers so much. We can take care of ourselves…we don’t need to be treated as babies. We need to experience the world for ourselves.” 

Amanda Swanson, Luck High School, Luck, Wisconsin

Don’t worry! Good advice, but how can you help worrying if you care about the future of our country? Freedom depends on responsible citizens. Instead of worrying, the Harry Singer Foundation urges you to take action. Many ideas are presented throughout section three.

 Chapter Three

Kids Do Not Receive Enough Life-Skills-Instruction At Home Or At School

Kids can’t learn if no one is willing to teach!

“Everyday youth are faced with important decisions that may alter the direction their life is heading. Many youths do make good decisions but many stumble and are unable to get back on their feet. For these youth who stumble, where do they turn to for help? In our society today the answer to this question is unclear.”
Josh Onken, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

Neglected Lessons: Understanding and Tolerance

“In almost all of the communities today, the neighbors don’t know each other and have no idea what each of them is going through in their lives and how they live.”
Jimmy Gipson, Salem High School, Salem, Missouri

“What is it that prevents society from working together? Much of it is our own ignorance. Racism, sexism, prejudice, and pure hate prevent us from helping others. We worry about our differences, and do not concentrate enough on our similarities. When others need us, we cannot be there for them because we can’t put our differences aside and work together.”
Nicole Gunter, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

“‘I don’t like your tattoos, tongue ring, or your dangling shoe laces. I don’t like your music, the bag you carry, or your idols. What do you have to offer the community? You are nothing but a drain on society! I do not want you behaving this way in my community!’ These statements can be heard from the lips of many community leaders, but is this really aberrant behavior or does it just cross the social boundaries acceptable to the adult community?”
Ezekiel J. Johnson, McLeansboro High, McLeansboro, Illinois

“In today’s society it seems that we’ve lost the ability to deal with one another face to face. We blame our incapability to deal with one another on how vast our nation has become and how, with the ever growing technological advances we possess, there’s no reason to look a man in the face while making a major business transaction. The lack of personal contact has made mankind in general, desensitized to the quality of life. Thirty years ago who would’ve guessed that it would ever be commonplace to hear…of a mere twelve-year-old child opening fire on other innocent children? To our fellow man we owe our kindness, our unlimited caring, and, most of all, our understanding. While we may think that no one has experienced what we’ve experienced, that no one has had it worse that us, and that no one could possibly understand where we’re coming from, the truth is, it doesn’t matter if we share the exact same experiences. If we attempted to understand one another, it would germinate more responsibility toward mankind throughout our communities. …Faith Popcorn says, ‘We have so many latchkey children in search of a human connection.’ The familial environment instills what our children carry to their future lives, and if a nine-to-five job full of loneliness is what we instill, what do we expect from our children?”
Brooke Eddy, Valley Springs High School, Valley Springs, Arkansas

“Adolescents need to have an understanding of the values of cultural diversity. If a parent teaches a child the morals of…society and keeps their child morally grounded, then that child will understand the difference between what is right and what is wrong. Parents should teach their children how to treat different types of people and make [them] understand that it is okay to be different. There are many people who discriminate against other people just because they are different. But if people are taught that criticizing [other people] is wrong, then [they will] realize that [those people] are just like them. Trying to adapt to society and the criticism that comes along with trying to fit in is an aspect of life that everyone must face. This has brought more and more people to understanding the values of cultural diversity and has brought different communities together by understanding each other. People have come to realize that everyone is essentially the same and that no one is better than the other.”
Jessica Williams, Kecoughtan High School, Hampton, Virginia

Neglected Lessons: How To Be Considerate Of Others

“There are unstable people everywhere and nothing can fully protect us from the harm of their minds and bodies. …The population and diversity of America has contributed to the amount of violence today. The ideas and differences of people sometimes clash, and there is nothing that can be done about it. Arguments will ensue and sometimes these disagreements will lead to bloodshed. Humans must learn to be considerate of others, or else the world will become a colossal riot. We should look back at the sixties, the age of hippies promoting peace. Although there was a war taking place and unrestrained rallies created a dangerous atmosphere, most people, especially teenagers, wanted peace. Woodstock is a perfect example of this. In 1969, the music festival drew crowds of over three hundred thousand people. With a crowd this size, it is remarkable that there was no intentional violence except for a broken fence. However, Woodstock 1999 had fires, rapes, and injuries from thrown projectiles. It is astonishing to see how much a society can change in thirty years.”
Jennifer Glass, Demopolis High School, Demopolis, Alabama

School:

 “Parents are not the only ones to blame. I have attended school now for thirteen years and have witnessed first-hand how kids and teenagers can act. Teenagers form their own cliques and tend to make fun of anyone who doesn’t seem to be like them. As much as one tries to forget or get over it, words hurt. Some hold grudges, and these grudges, sadly, can result in murder in [some] cases.”
Rachel Casey, Salem High School, Salem, Missouri

“The life of a youth in America is very difficult. School can be a terrible place where there is a constant battle to fit in. In American schools prejudices have not disappeared but have evolved. Students are discriminated against and judged for a variety of reasons like their intelligence level, how they dress, whom they hang out with, and what their interests include. All through school students either take up the aristocratic positions where they learn to be bossy and mean to others, or they are the peons who are made miserable and oppressed and learn how to blend in and not speak back. Originality and the ability to think for oneself is stunted and thrown aside.  Students must either conform to fit in or be ridiculed and made fun of by the others. No one wants to take the time to get to know one another and [students] are quick to judge each other. School is a harsh world and [children will take] experiences from it…with them into adulthood. Slowly the social system of schools is producing tyrants, terrorists, and people who are afraid to stand up for what they believe in.  Values have also been lost. The world of youth today is a selfish and lonely world where babies have become an expendable by-product of recreation, human lives are no longer important, and respect for one another has been completely lost.” 
Tracy Hanna, Carrollton High School, Carrollton, Ohio

“Common among the school shootings is the treatment of the aggressors by their classmates. These kids had been treated as outcasts, teased and ridiculed without intervention of school administrators on a daily basis. It’s no wonder these kids snapped. I’m willing to bet that if these kids were not teased so much, these shootings would not have happened.”
Erin Parchert, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

“Teenagers get picked on all the time for not wearing the cool name brand or for not listening to the right music. If you get bullied all the time, you get really aggravated and stick up for yourself by fighting the bully. Fighting is the only defense kids feel is acceptable…people pick on others because they have problems or they are getting picked on, but in fact they are only creating more problems.”
Jamie Ludwig, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

“The peers of many children have driven them off the edge. They have pushed the children to the point [where] one child has caused fights between two people, and even killings. Why does this happen? This isn’t what peers should be about.” 
Steven Ardary, Harriman High School, Harriman, Tennessee

Neglected Lessons: How To Handle Their Emotions

“There is a lot of violence and anger in schools and in the children today.”
Jamie McCarval, Valley Springs High School, Valley Springs, Arkansas

“Many children are never taught how to handle their negative thoughts. They grow up like a time bomb, waiting to explode.”
Cassie Flynn, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois      

“But what it all comes down to is that children do not know how to handle their emotions of frustration, helplessness, and fear.”
Kristy Lowery, Salem High School, Salem, Missouri

Neglected Lessons: Open-Minded Respect

“I have never seen a jigsaw puzzle that could put itself together. But many of today’s parents have the mentality that they should just let their kids be kids, and then these parents think that somehow their children’s lives will just fall into place at a certain age. When they realize that their child has no discipline or respect for authority, then it is too late. …Most children in America are raised without the slightest bit of respect for their elders.
J.D. Bostic, Paoli High School, Paoli, Oklahoma

“The fear of the elderly by the younger generation is often the cause of distance between the two age groups.”
Ryan Morrison, Medicine Lodge High, Medicine Lodge, Kansas

No one wants to grow up because that equates to growing old. Kids are well aware that their parents try and stay young as long as possible.

“If adults and parents displayed maturity and [emphasized the] importance of growing up, American youth wouldn’t have such a hard time. [The desire to] preserve youth is America’s main problem. Adults act immaturely to prove their youth to others. Young people follow the adults’ example and don’t [want any part of] maturity.”
Crystal Lawson, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

Have you wondered why older community members aren’t used as often as they could be to mentor the young?

“The majority of Americans…despise the elderly. In fact, some of the elderly despise themselves.[To many] Americans, getting old is their greatest fear.”
Crystal Lawson, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

“[Older people] are often portrayed as old, decrepit, cantankerous beings with nothing better to do than clip coupons…In television commercials, for example, the elderly are used to sell items such as Depends, dentures, and funeral services instead of the more popular household products such as sporting equipment and cosmetics. This is a definite betrayal of the American dream of a better tomorrow.”
Kristal McGuire, Medicine Lodge High, Medicine Lodge, Kansas

There are other reasons for the lack of interaction between the generations:

“The biggest problem I find around my community of Harriman, Tennessee is the fear and disdain the younger generations and the older generations have [for] each other. In my personal opinion, the elder generation thinks that our younger generations are delinquents and bad influences...because of the way we act and dress. On the other hand, our younger generations feel that the elder generation is boring, crazy, senile, and scary because most can’t live on their own and they’ve never, or so they claim, experienced some of the things we experience today.”
Audrey Howell, Harriman High School, Harriman, Tennessee

Misunderstanding

“Many of the older society believe that we younger people do not care about the world anymore, but we really do. I think because some of the [members of the] younger generation do not use correct morals and give respect to others, the older society think that the world is being corrupted. Some teens believe their elders look down upon them, which makes teens feel worthless.”
Ashley Blank, Hyndman High School, Hyndman, Pennsylvania

“Youths assume that elders are too weak and forgetful to partake in their everyday activities. Elders feel that youths are too wild and disrespectful to share any of the same interests. Instead of trying to find a common ground, the gap grows larger…”
Amanda Price, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

“Kids today use speech and expression in a way that leaves the elderly feeling dazed and confused when just trying to hold a conversation. Teenagers dress in short skirts, huge baggy pants, little sultry tops, pants and shirts with wild prints, or obscene/rude logos. The older generation does not understand or agree with these styles.”
Dawn Walters, Medicine Lodge High, Medicine Lodge, Kansas

Obstacles To Learning In School

Infrastructure

 “I believe that the learning environment greatly influences how well a student can learn. If our schools are unclean and dilapidated, many students will not be able to focus on their studies.”
Eric Pressly, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

Lori makes an observation that may or may not be a problem: teachers are required to teach and students to learn while isolated from the rest of the community.

“For example, laws regarding mandatory school attendance and the organization of the educational system into age grades, serve as isolation periods for adolescents from the rest of society. The obligation to spend the day together in a common environment leads to a tendency for adolescents to socialize among themselves…”
Lori Kirsch, McLeansboro High School, Mcleansboro, Illinois

“[Teens] are shoved away every day behind closed doors to sit at a desk for eight hours and learn about the real world out of a book. So, because of this inferior feeling they try to grab adult’s attention and assume adult type roles every day. However, the teen’s chosen roles have become the problem. Teens today see it as normal to drink under age, smoke under age, and engage in sexual activity outside of marriage. This could be due to the fact previously stated: they are trying to assume adult responsibilities so they can feel important in, and [be] a part of, the active, adult world.”
Brooke Hartman, Rockridge High, Taylor Ridge, Illinois    

Outdated teaching methods:

“There are so many new things out there to learn, so why is it that my generation is labeled as lazy, not doing their work or getting good grades in school?  Is it the educators fault? …Maybe students get bored being in a class that is moving too slowly for them.” 
Janette Lehman, Big Spring High School, Newville, Pennsylvania

Adam picks up on this theme:

“At school, it is assumed everyone is at the same level. In some cases this is true, however, not in most cases. Some advance faster with concepts while another accelerates in sports. This proves we are all different.”
Adam Southerland, Paoli High School, Paoli, Oklahoma

“Some of the substitute teachers that we get down here are ridiculous. They don’t even have a clue. I know that they have to have a degree, but there is just something that has to be done about the lack of experience.”
Allen Waugerman, Hyndman High, Hyndman, Pennsylvania

Out of touch:

“A lot of students do not like teachers knowing each and every little thing about them, but maybe it is time for teachers to get to know their students. Students feel inferior to teachers because they feel like teachers have no idea what it is like to be them. You go into class every day and some teachers get up in the front of the room and talk about the lesson and never seem to care about the students. That is when we feel lonely and [turn to our peers].

    In our yearbook class this year, the yearbook staff wanted to [include] a survey…one of the questions was: have you ever drunk alcohol? The teachers [wouldn’t allow the question] and once again the topic was ignored. There is no big deal with asking students what they have and have not done. Teachers need to know what is going on in their school and recognize the problem rather than…ignoring it.”
Julie Thirtyacre, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois  

Lack of authority:

“Each day I see a group of girls who thrive on testing the patience of one teacher. She began as a teacher who would entertain us with her lists of historical facts, but eventually it got way out of hand. The girls in this class yell rude comments at her each day and they have completely destroyed the learning atmosphere. They do not fear consequence because of the lack of authority. The actual number of people who are disrespectful is limited, but the power they hold over the class is overwhelming. …I would be quite relieved if I only had to ‘go to classes and learn.’…The students have taken over. Every day is chaos. The lack of respect that we show for our teachers is outrageous. Even if I was to go to an all girl’s school and they had the same personality as the girls in my class, I would struggle to learn. They would show the same lack of respect. These girls are selfish and would be rude no matter where they attended school. However, I might learn something if I were home schooled, but not enough. I personally need a school environment with people around me to get ideas from, but not to interfere with the learning process.”
Tamara Parchert, Rockridge High, Taylor Ridge, Illinois      

Distractions

“I think that there are so many distractions in today’s generation that it takes away from the drive for excellence. We come to a decisive point where we think that things are good enough. Then we leave them as they are, not even bothering to try and make anything better. We have seen so many other people do this that it imprints on our minds and we take the same attitude. …
   I think kids today feel that the things they learn in a classroom are not even put to good use when they are finished with them. I think this puts a stereotype on kids that because they are still in school they are not worthy enough to be an adult. This is a bad feeling for a kid to have.”
Evan Weller, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois 

And then there is the current overwhelming distraction to learning:

“Kids are dying in school, which makes us think that schools are not safe anymore. I guess you can say that nowhere is [there] a safe community because you hear so many things on the news. Trusting people is hard because you don’t know what may come of it.”
Makara Puth,  Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

 “Cases like the Columbine, Colorado and Jonesboro, Arkansas, massacres are incidents of school violence. Students are killing other students without fully realizing the consequences. Many kids are afraid to go to school, for fear of being a victim of school violence.”
Cassie Flynn, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois   

“When students know they are safe don’t you think they will learn better and have a more positive attitude knowing they don’t have to fear their own classmates.”
Randell Gates, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

“Schools are just covering the basics and when a violent crime does occur, they just brush it off. Why not ask the students how they would have handled the situation?
Kelli Carter, Big Spring High School, Newville, Pennsylvania

Editor’s note: Please see Problem Solvers on page 107

Jennifer is thoughtful:

“Is school violence only mass murders, shooting sprees, or bomb threats? No, violence can also be fistfights, verbal arguments, and bullying; and it must stop! If we want productive communities we must have productive youth. [This is] the question that lays heavy on my mind; does this violence only affect the children involved in the confrontation? My answer is no. Whenever this violence is made public it does two things. One, it shows violence to other students which in turn may cause even more violence to erupt and secondly, teaches other children that violence is okay... There are many bullies in our elementary and middle schools today, and although...physical abuse hurts; words affect children much longer. Verbal abuse lowers self-esteem and self-confidence [and] can leave people with emotional scars and complexes that can carry over into adulthood.”
Jennifer Arwood, Harriman High School, Harriman, Tennessee

From South Dakota, Faye ends this conversation by directly addressing you, the adult reader:

“When you hear of another school shooting like the one in Littleton, Colorado, or of another drive-by shooting, what do you think? Maybe you say to yourself, where were their parents? Or maybe you silently pray that God will not let that happen to your family, or that there will be no school shootings at your children’s school. Maybe if you are my age you pray that it does not happen at your school. What has happened that we are now praying for our safety in school?

   Is school not supposed to be a place where society’s children can learn safely, a place where some of their most crucial years are spent? Where have we failed in our society to let fear have the upper hand on us?  Is it not supposed to be a place where many memories occur, and life-long friends are made?”
Faye O’Bryan, Kadoka High School, Kadoka, South Dakota

The curriculum:

 “There are few courses that are offered in most High Schools today that teach adolescents about the real world. There are, of course, the required classes such as Consumer Economics and American Government that teach basic facts about the adult world. There are a few classes that are aimed at teaching teenagers how to live as adults and what is expected of them as adults (for example classes such as Parenting and Adult Living). However, these classes are not enough.”
Shawn Berberich, Rockridge High, Taylor Ridge, Illinois       

Jared doesn’t believe schools are capable of teaching everything:

“I need development that the school cannot give me.  The school cannot teach me the rights and wrongs of life, how to love, how to deal with conflicts, no textbook can teach me that.”
Jared Witt, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

And Jose doesn’t think they should try:

“Many parents believe that our nation’s school system should take the responsibility of teaching their children discipline, morals, and ethics. It is impossible for teachers to take the role of both a parent and a teacher.  Teachers already have too many things on their hands as it is.”
Jose Ochoa, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois

The educational achievements of American students suffer in comparison with students around the world:

“In earlier times an education was simply reading, writing, and arithmetic. Today subjects vary and so do the levels of learning. …[The student attributes the following quote to E.D. Hirsh, Jr.] ‘Almost all American children have been receiving inferior schooling that hinders them from developing their capacities to the fullest. Compared to the rigorous education received by many Europeans and Asians, most American children are underprivileged.’” 
Krystle Bullock, McLeansboro High, McLeansboro, Illinois

“Somewhere between the parents’ putting the responsibility on the teachers and the teachers’ putting the responsibility on the parents, the job of teaching children morals and academics has been pushed aside.”
Lauren Heit, Kinsley High School, Kinsley, Kansas

Bottom line:
“It is an understood and accepted fact that human behavior is learned. The youth of today are more confused and disoriented than they have ever been before. They are confused about the future, where they are going, and what role in society they are supposed to fill. The past few generations seem to lack the knowledge of life and maturity that they should have been taught.” 
Adrienne Huffines, Paoli High School, Paoli, Oklahoma

Chapter Four

Kids See Irresponsible Actions All Around Them

TV has become a substitute parent:

“Television families such as the Cleavers and the Nelsons…were close-knit; their morals and values were secure. Viewers wanted the perfect family and life that they saw on television. On television, the families faced everyday problems, but with the passage of 30 minutes, their lives were normal and perfect once again. In this decade, shows like these are unheard of. Now, people see television shows with families like the Conners from Roseanne and the Bundys from Married with Children. The shows of the 1950’s are unrealistic today. We no longer have a tranquil domestic society—we have uproar and chaos.”
Jennifer Brungardt, Medicine Lodge High, Medicine Lodge, Kansas

Many kids get their values from TV:

“On TV today there are many commercials that promote the thought or idea of ‘all for me, and none for you.’ Children who grow up with this attitude will have a harder time learning to get along with others.”
April Phifer, Camden Central High School, Camden, Tennessee

“I think in today’s world the media encourages teenagers to grow up too fast. They show these successful, beautiful teenage movie stars, and teens are too eager to grow up and try to be just like them.”
Janelle Seagren, Newell-Fonda High School, Newell, Iowa

But does TV cause violence?

“In a recent teacher survey, thirty-one percent believe that it is an over exposure of violence in the mass media that causes violence. It’s true that Americas’ children are exposed to a steady diet of verbal and physical violence that begins at an early age and continues throughout their lives. This has caused them to see violence as being normal or common. Kids today also spend [more] time watching television and playing video games…than…time with their families…[Even] children who have not grown up in a mean, hostile environment full of neglect, are also involved in acts of violence due to boredom or the excitement of control. …

   Some children…feel isolated…are filled with rage and…[feel] rejected. [They] don’t believe that they owe society anything, so don’t care who or what they damage…Thirty-four percent…believe that violence is a result of peer pressure; others blame violence on drugs and alcohol. Another emerging trend is the number of acts of violence related to race or religion. All the factors that contribute to school violence are numerous, complex, and mostly community- related. ”

Kristy Lowery, Salem High School, Salem, Missouri

Kids are easily influenced and demoralized if they have not been taught how to filter input from the media:

“Children who watch television are influenced by violence everyday and it continually gets worse.”

Robert Tomich, Rockridge High School, Taylor Ridge, Illinois

“Most of the time I feel that the whole world is just getting more terrible by the minute. Every time I turn on the news, the stories seem to get more and more gruesome. Things like school shootings and people being killed without reason are becoming common occurrences.

Jose Ochoa, Joliet Central High School, Joliet, Illinois